Fire a Couple Weeks Ago

I was just pulling some pictures off the camera and found these we took from our back deck a couple weeks ago, when we had a fire close to home.  They had this one under control compared to some of the other Colorado fires we had late summer/early fall this year.

Ladybug Sightings

I couldn't remember the last time I'd seen a ladybug when I found one crawling through my hair over the weekend. Then I found another one this morning. It met me by the refrigerator as I gathered rice milk for my cereal and orange juice.

When something catches my eye and grabs my attention, I can't help but wonder what spiritual message I'm being sent.  So this morning it was off to the Internet to search for the meaning behind ladybug sightings.  I was pretty happy with what I found because it so perfectly suits where I am in life at the moment.  In summary, I feel my funky block melting away and now is the time for renewed creativity.  I felt it this morning, even before the second ladybug sighting, when I woke up to sparks of ideas for three new characters and more of the storyline for Warrant for Damnation. Exactly what I need while I finish preparing for the 3 Day Novel Contest.

If you are interested in learning more about ladybugs, here are a few things I've found:

"LadyBug Life, Rebirth, Abundance, and Hope. Lady bugs, a type of winged beetle, is a gardener's friend in keeping other more harmful bugs out of the flower beds. Lady bugs with their bright red shells and black spots carry the magic of rebirth. Red and black are the colors of thoughts and manifestation. Often Ladybug will appear to us when we have an opportunity to succeed, grow, and start something new. All of the beetle family transforms from larvae to adult, showing us we too can transform our lives. Ladybugs can consume large quantities of aphids and other harmful bugs which eat and destroy plants. When we garden with more conscientious we can be aware of this balance within the garden. Allowing nature to show us how it takes care of the pests, without the use of harmful pesticides and chemicals. So as Summer begins to fade into Fall watch for Ladybug to fly into your life. Let Ladybug consume your unwanted fears and encourage new adventures."  -- Raven Medium Website

"The Ladybug is associated with spirituality and religious devotion. The name Ladybug originated in Europe during the Middle Ages, when insects were destroying the crops. Catholic farmers were said to have prayed to the Virgin Mary for help. Soon after, Ladybugs appeared and began eating the pests and saved the crops from destruction. The farmers began to call the Ladybugs “the Beetles of Our Lady” and eventually they were known as Lady Beetles. The Ladybug's red wings are said to represent the Virgin's cloak and the black spots her joys and sorrows."

The Ladybug is widely considered a symbol of luck and is seen as a good omen when it comes calling. In Sweden, it is said that if one lands on a young woman's hand, she will soon get married. In France, it is said that if you are ill when one lands on you, it will fly away with your illness.

Ladybugs are also considered to be symbols of fire and the Sun.

Ladybug teaches life is short and it teaches to let go of ones' worries and fears, to trust in spirit and enjoy life. It brings the gifts of renewal and regeneration. The message of the Ladybug could be asking you to “Let go and let God”."  -- Montana Dreams Website

Are You Listening to His Messages?

Yesterday I began reading week 2 of The Artist's Way.  It's all about recovering a sense of identity.

"This week addresses self-definition as a major component of creative recovery.  You may find yourself drawing new boundaries and staking out new territories as your personal needs, desires, and interests announce themselves..."

I got to a section on crazymakers that I found as entertaining this time through as the last time I read it some ten years ago. 

"...those personalities that create storm centers.  They are often charismatic, frequently charming, highly inventive, and powerfully persuasive.  And for the creative person in their vicinity, they are enormously destructive.  You know the type:  charismatic but out of control, long on problems and short on solutions."

Rather than quote more of the book, I found this fun blog post, Five Traits of a Narcissist or 'Crazymaker' you must drop by and read.

I've tried to steer clear of these types of people, but I've sure put up with my fair share, some way longer than I should have.  Lately though, I've cut them out of my life as soon as I've figured them out.  It almost became a necessity after I started dealing with some health issues, thank you God, that are almost gone.  So I figured I wouldn't have much to work on in the crazymaker arena. 

LOL!!  I ran into one the very next morning.  A few doors down from our home.  Now ROFLOL!!

It was almost like God sent her to me to say, "Hey!  Wendy!  I guided you back to The Artist's Way for a reason.  Now go back and read that section again." 

I don't really feel it's necessary to go into the details of the crazymaker encounter because the message was sent and received.  Am now headed back to read that section again.

Okay, I'm Blocked...Now What?

If you read Tuesday's post, I complained that another year has passed and I'm not happy with my publishing progress, like I complain most years around my birthday.  By the way, it was an amazing birthday.  Thanks you so much to everyone who sent me happy birthday wishes.  You're all wonderful!!  Anyways, it turned out to be the best birthday gift I could have given myself, being critical that is.  It finally got me to admit that I'm going through the dreaded "writer's block," which I prefer to call "the funk."

Hey, we all go through it at least once in our careers, right?  For me this is trip number two through the thick gunky dark bottleneck of writer's block.  I didn't recognize it at first because I've still been writing, which is why I feel this is more of a funk than a block.  It's the low number of new words and frustration with editing that were the first clues I ignored.  The second clue is the pages of The Courier that are sitting in the word processor, ready for release on Twitter and the website, but I just can't bring myself to copy and paste it in.  Third clue, doing lots of research for Bloodleggers and avoiding connecting with my main character, Miss Regina Todd. Oh, yeah, and there's the whole wanting to quit thing I've written about in the Bloodleggers and The Courier blogs.

So what now? I asked myself before I rolled out of bed yesterday.

First thing I did was pull one of my favorite books off the shelf that I keep handy for such emergencies.  It hasn't seriously come off the shelf for ten plus years though. The Artist's Way got me through a pretty "funky" rough spot back then.  All it took was a quick read through the introduction and I realized that I have more than writer's block.  This is also a spiritual disconnect.  This quote alone in the margin of the book spoke to me and confirmed it.

"I myself do nothing.  The Holy Spirit accomplishes all through me."

--William Blake

I don't want to go into too many details on the spiritual disconnect today, but after reading the introduction to The Artist's Way, I needed some spiritual guidance.  So I went searching for the nearest spiritual book I could find, which around here could be connected to about any religion.  Beside me was Jefferson's Bible and The Koran and neither were quite appropriate for what I was seeking out.   So I walked into the living room and found a quick read, The Essence of Happiness, A Guidebook for Living by His Holiness the Dalai Lama and Howard C. Cutler, M.D.  This is a tiny little book my sister gave me years ago.  It sits on an end table in our living room between a statue of Jesus and The Buddha.  I try to read this book whenever I feel my life path is being distracted by anger or other negative emotions.  I read it, and to make a long story even longer, I found this passage inspiring.

On a personal level, being open and sharing things can be very useful.  Because of this nature I can make friends more easily, and it's not just a matter of knowing people and having a superficial exchange but of really sharing my deepest problems and suffering.  And it's the same thing when I hear good news, I immediately share it with others.  So, I feel a sense of intimacy and connections with my friends.

So I've decided to share my journey in the midst of my "funk" here in my blog.  Mostly it'll be connected with 12 weeks of following The Artist's Way, which is also, as the title states, "a spiritual path to higher creativity."  I'll be sharing lots of the negative, lots of the positive, and lots of spiritual talk that will be connected to about every religion and philosophy on Earth, past and present.  It all depends on where The Universe and God decide take me. 

I don't want to make this just about me though.  If any other writers out there are experiencing what I am, and you want to pick up a copy of The Artist's Way and join me, let me know.  I'd love to include links to your blog or make my blog available to you if you need a place to vent.

And so the journey begins...

I'm 45 Today

Happy birthday to me!  

Yeah, I'm 45 today.  WOW...45.   

Best birthday present I got so far today came to me while doing a P90X upper body work out this morning.  Physically I don't feel any different than I did twenty years ago, and I have greater endurance.  Of course I have to sneak in the gluten free and mostly caesin free diet over the last couple years has helped decrease aches and pains tremendously.  Smile and frown lines are a little deeper, but I've earned 'em along with a few more gray hairs.  

Still, this isn't a completely happy day.  What gets to me every year is the progress I've made as a fiction writer.   It's hitting me especially hard this year.  Maybe that's why I've been in such a foul mood the past month or two.  You'd think I'd be working harder for success, but I'm still fighting the urge to quit.

Oops...it's my birthday.  Keep it positive!

Now that I'm a year older, maybe a nap would help.

10 Things I Love About Being a Writer

While perusing through blogs this morning I came across 10 Things I Love About Being a Writer by Erin Cole on Listen the the Voices. Drop by and read her list. She had me chuckling and there's some great comments.

What are my 10 things I love about being a writer?

1.  I can get away with saying reading fiction novels is a part of my occupation, and books are a tax write off.

2.  I get to work every day with the beagles within petting distance, and take them out for a walk whenever I feel like it.

3.  I can do housework in between writing and editing. 

4.  No insecure moron control freak boss to deal with every day, although the ones from my past keep popping up as evil characters in my books.

5.  You get to meet tons of other fabulous writers.  Writers and just great people!

6.  When people hear I write horror they assume I'm crazy, and they're mostly right.

7.  I don't have to live in reality for 5 or 6 hours a day. 

8.  I get to legally kill people in print.

9.  I have total control over my best friends--my characters.

10.  When something I've written makes people laugh.

Wine with Breakfast for Dinner

We're big winos around our house, attend wine tastings whenever we can and enjoy sharing our likes and dislikes with anyone who will listen.  In fact, we've keep a spreadsheet over the years that contains our and friends' ratings on various wines.  It's up to 264 different varietals...oh my.

Lately I'm finding that I really enjoy white wines from Chili.  The reds we've tried are okay, but that could be because we haven't tried many of them yet.

On a side note, an interesting fact about Chilean wine:

Outside of its dramatic landscape and picture-perfect climate, Chile is unique in all the wine world in that its soils have never been infested with the insidious root louse, phylloxera. This vine pest almost completely devastated all of the vineyards of Europe in the late 1800s.

So I had to mention that last weekend I made breakfast for dinner and the pictured 2008 Sauvignon Blanc from Veramonte was especially good with eggs and bacon and sausage and pancakes.  It has a very light pinapple and citrusy flavor that we both enjoyed.  And considering we eat breakfast for dinner frequently on the weekends, finding a wine we can drink with it is worth mentioning.  It would also be great with Chinese.  Keep this one cold though.

I've Been Thinking

I was up kinda late last night, thinking about what I'd write about today. No...make that over thinking about what to write. So I didn't actually fall asleep until around midnight. After the fact, I probably should of gotten up and just wrote this damn post, but I didn't, and now it's 9:30 A.M. and I'm finally writing it. Let me warn you in advance that you might get snared in the babbling a bit.

So what did I think about. Mostly about not writing in this blog anymore. Lately I've seen a lot of posts in other blogs with advice on what to write in a blog. Number one (or maybe two :-)), don't write about yourself. I have to say I can't argue with this way of thinking. I also have to say I glance over other blogs where people rant on like I was or just talk about themselves. This includes writing about the struggles of writing. It's what I do for a career, right? So by writing about writing, I'm essentially writing about myself. Except of course if I'm writing about writing from a technical perspective, and guess what? There are lots of other people who write about writing and publishing, and I love reading their blogs, but I personally have no interest in doing it myself.

So I thought about how much time I spend blogging, yet again. If you've read my blog in the past, I've been complaining about this for awhile. And the answer is TOO MUCH TIME! I get sick to my stomach when I think about the amount of time lost on blog posts when I could be writing fiction. But, I've decided not to dwell on it. Reason? I also thought about popular writers who've written over ten books. Not many of them feel the need to blog regularly, yet here I am with three blogs. Well, technically two. The Courier's blog is the actual book. Another reason I've decided to not sweat it is because I'm a toddler when it comes to fiction writing. I'll admit I don't like to always think of myself as such a youngling because I wrote nonfiction for so many years, but they are completely different animals. So trying to portray myself as a seasoned author or give advice about fiction writing really seems absurd considering I'm not even published.

I really sorta figured it out last night while finishing up the parts of Mary Kay's book I wanted to read. These are some of the wisest words I've ever heard:

"We fail forward to success."

I'm not a professional blogger. I'm a fiction writer. I want you readers out there to read my fiction, not my life story. So, struggling every week to add content to this blog is one of my failures because I'm not producing what I want you to read. Admitting your failures is a huge step, and so now I breath a sigh of relief and give up this blog. Well kinda. The whole format will basically change/return to a home base with links to my fiction accomplishments. Sorry, but this also means the Writer Wednesday Blog Hop ends, although I'll add influential links as I find them.

So, in closing, I leave you to go do what I long to do...write fiction...

What are your reading habits?

If I don't get a question from one of my readers, I look for questions on other people's blogs. This week I found a list of questions on Candace's Book Blog, a new blog I added to my read list a couple weeks ago. Click here for Candace's answers.

Here are my answers to the questions. Leave a comment if you decide to share in the fun so I can read your answers.

Do you snack while you read? If so, favorite reading snack:
I don't eat while I read. I guess I'm not coordinated to chew and read at the same time.

What is your favorite drink while reading?
Whatever I happen to have, which is likely coffee, water or ice tea since that's about all I drink..

Do you tend to mark your books as you read, or does the idea of writing in books horrify you?
Depends on what I'm reading. I like to keep fiction books pristine, so I'll use a tab sticky if I want to mark a passage. I believe nonfiction books are meant for marking and remarking. Maybe it's a left over feeling from college.

How do you keep your place while reading a book? Bookmark? Dog-ears? Laying the book flat open?
Bookmark, primarily. If I'm just getting up for a few minutes and returning to read, I lay the book open flat.

Fiction, non-fiction, or both?
Fiction & non-fiction. I've got at least one of each going at any given time.

Are you a person who tends to read to the end of a chapter, or can you stop anywhere?
I can stop anywhere, but prefer to stop at the end of a chapter.

Are you the type of person to throw a book across the room or on the floor if the author irritates you?
I've thrown many a books across the room. I do try to give all books I read at least a 100 page read, so sometimes, forcing myself to read on can really piss me off.

If you come across an unfamiliar word, do you stop and look it up right away?
Look it up and write it down so I can use it later in my own writing. Been doing this for as long as I can remember. I don't go back to what I've written down for words though. Writing it down just seems to make it easier to remember the word.

What are you currently reading?

• White Plague by Frank Herbert
• Fallen Angels and the Origins of Evil: Why Church Fathers Suppressed the Book of Enoch and Its Startling Revelations by Elizabeth Clare Prophet
• To Your Scattered Bodies Go (Riverworld 1) by Philip José Farmer AWESOME READ!!

You can check out what I'm reading on Goodreads at any time. I'm pretty annal about keeping it up to date.

What is the last book you bought?
Blood Vice: The Nightfall Syndicate, Book 1 by Keith Melton

Are you the type of person that reads one book at a time, or can you read more than one?
I've usually got 3 or more books going at once. I get bored while reading only one book, no matter how good the book may be.

Do you have a favorite time/place to read?
I start reading every night between 6:00 P.M and 7:00 P.M. When I'm doing research for a book, I read for an hour before, during and/or after lunch.

Do you prefer series books or stand alones?
I don't really have a preference, but come to think of it, the only series' I've really gotten into are Harry Potter, Lord of the Rings and Dune.

Is there a specific book or author you find yourself recommending over and over?
Bradley Denton, Christopher Moore & Scott Sigler are three authors I regularly recommend.

How do you organize your books? (by genre, title, author's last name, etc.)
LOL!! Lately it's been mass chaos. My 'to read' book shelf of paper books I own is a mess. Thanks Amazon for the Kindle! It's much easier to organize your eBooks. If I'm looking for a paper book I own, I usually have some idea where it is. Books from the library are all in one pile with the next book I'll read on top.

True Lies or Creative Writing?

Well, it finally came round to me, the Creative Writer Blogger Award by my buddy C.J. Ellison. Thanks C.J.! I've seen this on a lot of other blogs and I have to admit I've been dreading it coming to me. This is an award, but it seems more like one of those chain emails I usually trash. Yes, I admit it. I'm a chain breaker. I've decided to go ahead with this one though, since I needed a question for Friday's blog post anyways.

Okay, so I have to provide 7 facts about myself that may or may not be truths, six outrageous truths and one outrageous lie, or vice versa. This could be kinda fun, considering I get to lie. But then I have to nominate seven other bloggers for award. Not fun because I know this has already been posted by most of the bloggers I know. ARGH!!

Remember I am a horror writer while you read these.

1. While I was in the Air Force, I was put on extra duty to search for body parts after the Ramstein Air Disaster.

2. While in kindergarten I was a bully to the point I could have killed another child. Bashing heads into walls was one of my favorite ways to torture other kids.

3. The poem I wrote about capturing a toad, driving a nail into its head and killing it with a vice grip is really a true story.

4. When I was 17 my boyfriend was 32. He was married and screwing his wife's best friend as well. Ten years later I saw him confessing his misdeeds on a daytime talk show.

5. I can see and converse with dead people, and more often attract nasty souls that have killed and tortured other people as well as the spirits they've hurt.

6. I've had multiple OBEs throughout my life, but have managed to stay in my body for the past eight years.

7. Blood makes me queasy to the point I nearly pass out.

I'm nominating:

• Andrea Heiland at Fools and Sages
• Brock Henning at Lifesummit
• Nancy Overbury at Overbury Ink
• Carole Gill at Demon Vampire Horror
• 3 more to go

How do you name your characters?

I use a trick I learned from Stephen King in his book, On Writing.  At least that's where I think I found the idea.  I use the old paper version of the phone book.  It's the only use I have for it anymore.  If I need an actual telephone number, the first place I look is on the Internet.

It's not as easy as you might think to pick a character's name out of the phone book.  When I'm looking to name a new character, I open to a random page and browse the names.  If a full name jumps out at me, I use it.  Or, I might choose just a last name, in which case I then have to find a first name that I prefer.  Sometimes I have to flip to a few random pages before I settle on a character's name.

I also use a baby name book if I'm looking for a more ethnic name.  This option isn't 100% helpful though.  If I need a last name, and the character happens to be Chinese, I have to search the Internet for it.

The name of a protagonist usually comes to me with the story idea, like Barry's name in The Courier.  His last name didn't come to me until about six months ago when I decided his mother's character would be the type to name him after the music artists she was listening to while he was conceived.  So his name is Barry White.

Note that this is a new weekly feature I'm posting every Friday.  If you have a question for me, leave a comment and I'll add it to my list.  Authors who drop by to read, I'd love to hear your answer to these questions as well.